Hey, stupid, wanna lose some weight?

Popular advice for the thoughtless:

Eat this food because it is “low in calories.”

Take this supplement to “burn calories.”

Do this exercise to “burn calories.”

My thoughts:

Don’t you eat to have as much energy as possible so you can do what you want to do? I do. Food provides energy, so my meals consist of high-calorie foods. Eating low-calorie foods makes as much sense as putting water in a car’s tank instead of high-octane gas. And I definitely do not want to go and “burn calories.” When you fuel your car, do you do it to burn some gas or to get to some places and haul some loads?

By the way, note that I wrote “advice for the thoughtless,” not “by the thoughtless.” There is a lot of money to be made from those thoughtless enough to follow such popular advice—especially as they eventually develop metabolic syndrome and other afflictions caused by low-calorie and high-grain diets.